Paul’s Top Ten(ish) Albums of 2023

In the Victorian maternity hospital of time, 2024 splutters into mewling life, bawling scrunch eyed in the arms of its chronological midwife. It was a difficult birth; there were… complications. The child’s mother, 2023, looks on through greying vision; a thin smile struggling to find purchase on her weakened lips. Her life may be spent but still she is thankful; her time was fleeting but full…

That’s right; as January dances onwards, it’s time to foist my favourite music of the last year into your welcoming ear holes. It’s been a bumper year for new music, to the degree that I may squeeze a few extra recommendations into this list. As always, the following albums are not in any particular order of merit. Let’s begin…

-1- 10000 Gecs by 100 Gecs

Launching into 2023 with their second album, this south Califorian duo make music which is loud, dumb and stupidly fun. Belonging to the apparently real hyperpop genre, 100 Gecs keep their tunes short and packed with ideas. To my ears their sound is like a mash up of early 00’s punk, ska, and electro with a light foam of poppy melodies swirling on the surface. However you catagorise it though, this is music to move to. Not dance, necessarily, but certainly flail your limbs around. Their scrappy, crunchy enthusiasm is as contagious as the latest strain and at just 27 minutes for 10 tracks, even if you don’t like it at least it’s over quickly!

Sample tune- Hollywood Baby

-2- The Ballad of Darren by Blur

At the start of 2023 I would never have predicted that I would have seen seminal 90’s band Blur three times by the end of the year. Then again, I hadn’t realised that my wife would reawaken her dormant teenage obsession with Damon Albarn, fuelling such groupie-ish devotion. After being part of the crowd for their Wembley reunion, my beloved managed to secure incredibly rare tickets for the album launch live stream in Hammersmith, followed by a trip to Lisbon to watch them playing at the Kalorama festival. Fortunately, there’s life in the old dogs yet and their latest album, The Ballad of Darren is a genuinely decent record. The shadow of Damon’s recent break-up with his long term partner is cast over much of the album, resulting in a bitter sweet, reflective tone. But whilst this slightly sombre atmosphere means fewer chances to rock out, it results in tracks of heart achingly beautiful melody and soul searching introspection. Granted, my wife would have kicked me out of the flat if I hadn’t put this on my list, but trust me, I was going to anyway!

Sample tune- Barbaric

-3- Sundial by Noname

After a five year hiatus Chicago’s Noname sidled back onto the hip hop scene and casually dropped the best rap album of the year. ‘Sundial’ is chilled in its instrumentation and charged in the focused politicism of its lyrics. Whilst the album as a whole is a quality affair, the first half is truly superb, featuring track after track of probing rhymes enunciated in Noname’s laid back, nonchalantly cool delivery. Anyone with a passing interest in hip hop should check out this album; it captures a timeless quality that reveals more layers the deeper you listen. Definitely recommended.

Sample tune- Hold Me Down

-4- I’ve Got Me by Joanna Sternberg

Sometimes a singer songwriter comes along who’s gift of weaponised simplicity disarms me at first listen; Joanna Sternberg is one such artist. Their music puts me in mind of the self concious awkwardness of early Jeffrey Lewis mixed with the distinctive vocal timbre of Joanna Newsom. Lyrically, Sternberg examines their own percieved weakness, lack of confidence and frequent heatbreak with honesty and touching sincerity, BUT!!! And this is very important; ‘I’ve Got Me’ is not a depressing album. Far from it. Sternberg juxtaposes their experiences with upbeat major key ditties and Americana infused arrangements, creating a wash of hopeful sunshine over the record. I listened to this album on repeat whilst I was filming in Slovenia and it is now imprinted on my musical memory as I look back on 2023. I can’t wait to hear what they produce next.

Sample tune- I’ve Got Me

-5- My Big Day by Bombay Bicycle Club

I must confess that until this album Bombay Bicycle Club had passed me by. They occupied a possibly slanderous folder in my head consisting of other twee monikered indie bands from the mid 00’s; a congregation of bed wetting kooks, scouting for girls at the Two Door Cinema Club. After listening to My Big Day I regret my prejudice as the song writing on this album is consistantly excellent. The thing that really took me by surprise is just how groovy it is; big beats, reverberating basslines and killer hooks bolster frontman Jack Steadman’s agreeably middle class tone. The album doesn’t stay in any one place for long; it starts big with some of the most dancable tunes up front before swinging back and forth through several genres all whilst remaining anchored to a core sonic vision. It also contains a few high profile guest stars, including Chaka Khan and my wife’s one true love, Damon Albarn, who cowrites one of the album’s highlights in Heaven. I really have no complaints about this album, it is an exceptionally proficient piece of work and I wish I had listened to them earlier.

Sample tune- I Want To Be Your Only Pet

-6- softscars by yeule

First off, apologies for the lack of capital letters in the above heading. I suppose type setting is not a priority for youngsters these days… grumble, grumble… So then, yeule is a talented multi-instrumentalist, singer songwriter from Singapore. softscars is a difficult album to catagorise, veering as it does, from genre to genre on different tracks. Over the course of 12 songs they flow from electro pop to piano instrumentals straight from a Studio Ghibli soundtrack, via the sugar laced grunge of mid era Smashing Pumpkins. Such variety can make for a beguiling listen but in yeule’s hands such disparate pieces combine to make an unpredictable adventure of an album. It’s almost enough to make me forgive them for their crimes against grammar. Almost.

Sample tune- sulky baby

-7- For That Beautiful Feeling by The Chemical Brothers

Flying in the face of the perceived wisdom that it’s impossible to recapture one’s youth, The Chemical Brothers tenth album exploded into 2023 like an adrenilin shot to the heart. I have a tricky relationship with dance music; I generally loathe House, love a bit of Dubstep and politely doff my cap to Techno in the street. Now, forgive my generalisation but to my mind House music’s greatest failing is its repetitive lack of musical imagination. It is dull to listen to and dull to dance to. This is a statement that could not be levelled at The Chemical Brothers. On For That Beautiful Feeling they continue to craft tracks that surprise and excite. They are the masters of taking the listener on a euphoric journey of sound; outwardly simple but richly layered. The track Goodbye is a great example; moments of reflective calm pierced with etheral electronic wails, like a Tripod from War of the Worlds hitting the dancefloor. It is rearkable that after three decades of making electronic music the duo can still sound so fresh and relevant.

Sample tune- No Reason

-8- Irish Rock N Roll by The Mary Wallopers

For those of you who don’t know, I’m Irish. That’s right, totally Irish. I have been ever since my Irish passport arrived in 2021. I can even play a bit of ‘The Shire’ from Lord of the Rings on a tin whistle. Therefore there is no one better qualified to critique an album of rollicking Irish folk music. And begorrah, is it rollicking! Right that’s enough of that; Irish Rock N Roll is a mixture of traditional and original songs played with raucous ebullience by this band from County Louth. They manage to capture the atmosphere of a drunken night at a rural tavern, replete with sawing accordian, quick plucked banjo and skittering bodhran. This melee of spirited accoustic instrumentation is punctuated with the Hendy brothers coarse, occasionally profane vocals. But, as with every session down the pub, the goodtimes eventually turn to melancholy, as the album highlights several poignant ballads. The brothers’ lyrical ability rises to the surface on these quieter original songs; they are deeply political, reprimanding the Catholic church and petty xenophobia in verses of biting relevance. Irish Rock N Roll is at once ecstatic, angry, funny and rousing. It makes me proud to be (one quarter) Irish.

Sample tune- The Idler (not the most upbeat but wonderfully political)

-9- Deliverance by Andrew Hung

Each year I find most of my music by scouring achingly cool music websites for buzz about exciting new artists. This album, however, came looking for me. A slightly dramatic way of saying that I first heard Andrew Hung on an Instagram ad. Thankfully, on this occasion the algorithm got it right. Later I learned that I had heard Hung’s music before with his now defunct but wonderfully named electro act, Fuck Buttons. I feel the best way to describe Hung’s music is as if Robert Smith had devoted his time to electro-pop instead of The Cure. He has the same slightly tongue in cheek grandious drawl mixed with echoing synths and functional drum machines. It surprised me just how much I enjoyed Deliverance. Hung definitely has a formula to his music but it is so much fun that I don’t care; his chord progressions and portentous posturing delight every time. Album opener Ocean Mouth is a great example; flowering into an expansive synth vista which is as gorgeous as it is melodramatic. I hadn’t expected Deliverance to become one of my favourite albums of the year but it most certainly is. It is also a great lesson to not always skip the ads. Yay, capitalism!

Sample tune- Soldier

-10- With A Hammer by Yaeji

Another hard to catagorise album from an East Asian songwriter with a 5 letter name begining with ‘Y’. You wait for ages and then 2 show up at once. Yaeji is a Brooklyn based American/Korean DJ and singer. Her delicate voice is elegantly threaded through sometimes baffling electronic compositions. She switches between English and Korean, seemingly at random, creating an unpredictable, exciting journey through the album. Stylistically, she tiptoes deftly through genres picking elements that appeal to her like daisies. Some tracks incorporate a drum and bass beat juxtaposed with an almost childlike nursery rhyme melody, whilst others skitter through ambient soundscapes or find footing on a hip hop beat. If I have a complaint it’s that Yaeji’s creativity can sometimes be a little exhausting, leaving me wishing that she could stay put for a couple of tracks. This leads me to conclude that a few tunes towards the end of the album could have been cut to create a tauter experience. However, if having too many ideas is the extent of my concerns then it’s safe to say that With A Hammer is still a fantastic album.

Sample tune- For Granted

There we go! Another year of awesome albums wrapped up in… BUT WAIT!!!!!

I had promised a few bonus recommendations for you, whether you like it or not, so I’m hearby extending my top ten into a top fifteen. I’ll spare you a full review for the following albums; merely a sample tune and perhaps a sentence or two to explain a tiny bit about them. But do note; they are just as valid as the previous ten records!

-11- Javelin by Sufjan Stevens

Heartbreaking harmony from prennial favourite Stevens; tackling the death of his partner. Beautiful song craft, even if he does sing about kissing a little too much.

Sample tune- So You Are Tired (My word, this song hits hard. No, you’re crying!)

-12- the record by boygenius

More hatred of capital letters by talented creatives! This supergroup of elite singer songwriters have produced one of the most critically lauded albums of the year. It really is fantasically good; lyrically and musically masterful.

Sample tune- Emily I’m Sorry

-13- I Am Not There Anymore by The Clientele

Pastoral elegance and melodic excellence from these long serving indie-folk stalwarts. Beautiful arrangements and a fascinating arc make for a full, satisfying album.

Sample tune- Claire’s Not Real

-14- The Wreckage by Sweet Baboo

My quirky Welsh multi instrumentalist of choice. Chirpy, inventive little gems of good natured melody.

Sample tune- The Worry

-15- Sam Greenfield Rules by Sam Greenfield

Let’s finish on a fun one! Offbeat jazz funk from New York hipster sax man Greenfield. Occaisonally juvenile, always funky. I challenge you not to party out to this sample tune… (The kids do say “party out”, right? Party down? Part exchange?)

Sample tune- Dinky Doinky

Right, that’s definitely the end this time, I promise. Thank you so much for reading and listening this far. If you’ve found this list entertaining then please do share it with your friends. Until next year!

Paul’s Top Ten Albums of 2022

As 2022 staggers woozily from foot to foot before collapsing, lifeless, into the ditch of history; it is time, once more, for my annual round up of the albums I thought were a bit good. I was spoilt for choice this year; it was a bumper crop of bangers from some of my favourite artists as well as several newcomers to my personal musical bubble. The following list is in no particular order of merit, and is as usual, definitive. So, let’s get this party started…

-1- The Overload by Yard Act

The year started with the crack of a whip as this Leeds based post punk outfit dropped “The Overload”, sizzling into the January drizzle. Loaded with politically charged, wryly humourous northern poetry, the chugging bass lines and infectious grooves combine to elevate the album high above the individual songs in isolation. At its best, “The Overload” climbs beyond its genre and offers a snapshot of ground level British intellect snapping back at the perceived mess in which our nation currently sits. The song ‘Tall Poppies’ in particular is a triumph; it tracks the life of one single, unremarkable man from childhood to the grave; taking in whimsy, satire and profound, poignant introspection. It provokes laughter and sadness, and promises great things for the future of the band.

Sample tune– 100% Endurance

-2- Wet Leg by Wet Leg

In a way I feel a bit cheap by selecting this album as one of my top ten. After all, as debuts go, few in recent years have been as generally well received as Wet Leg’s eponymous record. My hipster sensibilities will have to slide just this once though, as the brief sprint through the album’s 37 minutes is a consistent pleasure. The two ladies who make up Wet Leg clearly have a thorough grounding in mid nineties indie rock and I can confidently say that every track here would have gone down a storm on a Thursday night at The Coliseum in Coventry circa 1997; a high accolade indeed. Their star has certainly risen in 2022 and it’s refreshing to back a winner for once.

Sample tune- Wet Dream

-3- Gemini Rights by Steve Lacy

“Gemini Rights” is Steve Lacy’s second solo album but the first I’ve had the pleasure of listening to. His sound mines a rich seam of jaunty, soulful, funk-lite which is as enjoyable as it is difficult to categorise. The album focuses heavily on the breakdown of his relationship with a former boyfriend but askews maudlin naval gazing in favour of an r&b tinged, guitar lead romp. There are sweet moments and some more introspective tracks but Lacy’s upbeat nature generally wins through. In the writing of this round up I’ve just seen that a speeded up version of one of the catchiest tracks on the album, ‘Bad Habit’ became a hit on Tik Tok this year, an accolade that seems to be causing Lacy himself no small amount of grief. Apparently hoards of phone wielding tweens have been flooding his shows in hopes of catching the 30 seconds of the one song they know. Sadly, you can’t choose your fans but hopefully the support of middle class English giant in his early 40s will go some way to redress the balance.

Sample Tune- Mercury

-4- Once Twice Melody by Beach House

The French/American dream pop stalwarts returned in 2022 with a sleepy titan of an album. Clocking in at 18 tracks and nearly an hour and a half in length, “Once Twice Melody” provides a dose of musical laudanum that strangely doesn’t outstay its welcome. The hushed, breathy vocals, enveloping synths and gently insistent rhythms create a hypnotic swirl of an album, a warm exhalation that can’t help but put one into a state of blissed out relaxation. This aural opium hit is punctuated by standout tracks which inject a shot of melody filled adrenaline directly into the heart of the record, rousing the listener from soporific calm. It is a well rounded and thoughtfully crafted album, although perhaps not the best recommendation for late night lorry drivers.

Sample Tune- Over and Over

-5- Garbage Island by The Burning Hell

I’m a sucker for a whimsical little Canadian band and The Burning Hell have been my Canucks of choice for some years now. They are made up of husband and wife power couple Mathias Kom & Ariel Sharratt, plus a revolving troupe of their hugely talented multi instrumentalist friends and are without doubt, one of the most charming live acts currently touring. “Garbage Island” is possibly their best album yet, a rollicking ride of twanging guitars, thumping keys and verbose flights of fancy. Mathias is a fantastic story teller, here linking the songs together with a gentle narrative of surviving the end of the world. The melodies are by turns uplifting, kick ass or peacefully melancholic, all buoyed with fantastic, humourously clever lyrics. The breadth of styles that the band toy with on this album makes selecting a sample tune difficult as a single song isn’t really indicative of the whole so I’ve gone for the most incongruous; a lovely little electropop number about a possibly lonely seabird. Seriously though, if your curiosity is piqued, please check out the whole album. I love this band!

Sample tune- Nigel the Gannet

-6- The Theory Of Whatever by Jamie T

Jamie T has come a long way since his 2007 debut, “Panic Prevention”. Then a scruffy, young South London street poet, the intervening years have seen him grow into a slightly older scruffy South London street poet. The rawness and ADHD exuberance of his earlier output has been refined over the years; as he has toned down the severity of his half rapped, half belted vocals he has embraced a more indie sensibility that allows him to explore a greater variety of themes. That is not to say that “The Theory of Whatever” is a toothless experience; Jamie is still able to rattle cages as well as craft more subtle soundscapes. As ever, a huge part of his appeal is his gift with insightful, ingenious lyrics; his scattergun delivery the portal to more mature musings on the heart and his place in the world.

Sample tune- Between The Rocks

-7- Inside Problems by Andrew Bird

Andrew Bird’s records have long been regulars on my list of albums that I like but never take up permanent residence in my heart. That list, incidentally, is even less popular than this one. Bird’s brand of fiddle heavy Americana has previously had all the composite ingredients to make my heart sing but left it humming along instead. This has thankfully changed with “Inside Problems”, Bird’s most complete album in years. Lilting melodies, laid back grooves and breezy folk delivery combine to make an album that is a genuine pleasure to listen to. It really hits its stride from the half way point, riding a wave of violin plucking, barn storming tracks to end the record on a country tinged, golden sunset.

Sample tune- Make a Picture

-8- Bleed Out by The Mountain Goats

Come on, this one was always going to be on the list! The Mountain Goats have been in my top 3 all time favourite musical acts for a stupidly long time now and although I’m not the hugest fan of where the last few albums have taken them, I’m always ready to hear John Darnielle freak out on the mic. The Mountain Goats are not for everyone; their back catalogue is thick and hard to penetrate, bound as it is with the dreams and outrage of die hard fans like myself. Darnielle’s voice can be piercing to untrained ears, he may occasionally sound like an angry Kermit the Frog. Certain chords and snatches of melody may repeat many times over 20 years worth of albums but look past this and the genius of the The Mountain Goats shines through; a man, unremarkable in physicality or technical prowess, tearing his heart open wide and letting human stories of frailty, desire, loss & hope come flooding out. “Bleed Out” is merely a reasonable Mountain Goats album, possibly somewhere around the mid point for me, but that enough is plenty to make it one of my favourite records of 2022. Oh and it’s inspired by low budget action movies from the 80s, so there’s that. My favourite track on the record is Training Montage, a throwback rock out with the most screamable chorus for years.

Sample tune- Training Montage

-9- Melt My Eyez See Your Future by Denzel Curry

Florida hip hop artist Denzel Curry’s fourth studio album sees him take his foot off the accelerator and ease into a lower gear. His earlier output was categorised by confrontational lyrics and trap beats; a sound which has now mellowed and unfurled to assimilate influences from other genres. “Melt My Eyez See Your Future” puts me in mind of the glory days of early 00’s hip hop, when groups like Blackalicious and Outkast were expanding my own musical horizons; Saul Williams even features on one particularly fine track: the laid back ‘Mental’. Although still harbouring Curry’s passion and cynical edge, the songs on this album embrace a musical sensibility lacking from his earlier work. Jazz instrumentation and soulful samples combine to elevate his more introspective lyrics. In a year crowded with decent hip hop, this album is my pick of the bunch.

Sample tune- Walkin

-10- God Save The Animals by Alex G

Such is Alex G’s journeyman status in the crowded world of American indie music that I didn’t even realise that I already had one of his albums until I came to write this review. On recollection I recall that I quite enjoyed it at the time, it had just failed to fully extend its tendrils into my brain’s music receptors. I suspect that won’t be the case with “God Save The Animals”. This is an album of bleak, reserved beauty and haunting, autumnal frost. Through the use of various vocal distortion techniques, a sense of other-worldly menace is glimpsed through the alt folk instrumentation, like a monstrous catfish eying an unsuspecting duckling through a murky stream. Over the course of several listens, the spectral allure of this record’s fragile pulchritude really takes hold. There are standout tracks which work as traditional songs as well as tunes which serve to strengthen the cohesive atmosphere of the album, all of which combine to make a record of beguiling intrigue. There is little chance of me forgetting “God Save The Animals” as quickly as I did one of its predecessors.

Sample tune- Immunity

Right, there we have it, all wrapped up for another year. If you’ve not heard any of the above albums and have enjoyed giving them a listen then please let me know; it’s always nice to introduce people to something that gives them pleasure. Also feel free to let me know if you hated them, although my reaction to that may be slightly different.

Until next year, friends!

Paul’s Top Ten Albums of 2021

A blissful, disease free new year to you all and as a special token of goodwill, please feast on my entirely subjective list of the best albums of 2021. As is standard, the following records are in no particular order of merit, so there. I’m sure I’ve missed some real humdingers this year, as in every year, so if your favourites aren’t listed I probably didn’t get round to listening to it. Or I think you have terrible taste in music. So without further ado…

-1-

It is ridiculous that Little Simz isn’t as successful and well known as other, noteably male, MCs from South London. ‘Sometimes I Might Be Introvert’ is an absolute corker of an album. It features fantastic production from Inflo which sweeps effortlessly from swooping orchestration to rim shot-clacking funk, married with Simz’ personal tales of identity and societal musings. The only real downside are some truly embarrassing interludes by the actress who plays Diana on The Crown; spouting incongruous platitudes which bob on the surface of this otherwise delicious musical soup like ill judged croutons of trite pretention. Skip these and this is definitely one of the best records of the year.

Sample tune- Woman

-2 –

Japanese Breakfast are a tough band to catagorise. I first encountered them earlier this year when they soundtracked a relatively obscure indie videogame I was playing with idiosyncratic electronic noodling, occasionally flourishing into etheral indie pop. ‘Jubilee’ is their 3rd album and has me totally hooked. Michelle Zauner’s laidback vocals drape elegantly over an eclectic mix of hook laden disco, navel gazing dream pop and head bopping, throw back electro. It is a warming breeze of summery fresh air and as fun an album as was released last year.

Sample tune- Slide Tackle

-3-

This album will certainly not be everyone’s glass of Liptons. It is an unashamedly loud, raucous party album; a dubstep tinged rebellion, written as a release for the stress of the global lockdown. As such, it is filled with some real bangers, whilst retaining enough pockets of melody and changes of mood and tempo to keep things fresh. This album is at its strongest on the purely instrumental or sample heavy tracks; indeed the two that feature proper vocal lines tend to be the only songs I skip. Like I say, not for everyone but if it clicks with you it will click HARD.

Sample tune- Burn Up the Floor

-4-

The War on Drugs’ sound continues to be firmly tethered to the late seventies, early eighties era of heartland rock, epitomised by Springsteen and Petty. However, their music transcends the risk of coming across as mere homage by truly connecting to the same themes and driving factors as their influencers. Each track takes a real journey, often starting small and ending on a swirling cloud of duelling keyboards and guitar solos. Coupled with the honest rasp of Adam Granduciel’s soul searching lyrics, ‘I Don’t Live Here Anymore’ makes me yearn for deserted American highways and a full tank of leaded gasoline.

Sample tune- I Don’t Wanna Wait

-5-

I wasn’t truly much of a fan of Jungle’s previous albums; yes, I bought them, but I buy a lot of music I don’t really end up enjoying. For all their accomplished grooves I found them a bit po-faced and too cool for school to really connect with. Thankfully the same isn’t true of ‘Loving in Stereo’. The duo have discovered their fun side, embracing a funky, disco strutting style peppered with northern soul flourishes. The result is a perfect summer day album that just keeps getting better.

Sample tune- Talk about it

-6-

This album was created after the two singer song writers spent a section of lockdown together in a cabin in upstate New York watching old movies. Each track is inspired by a different film, not that you’d necessarily know it unless you’re listening very carefully. The result should be highly pleasing to fans of Stevens’ more melodic work, (and perhaps Augustine’s too, truth be told I’m not familiar with his ouvre). The forteen songs grow from their often low-brow inspiration into beautifully lilting, harmony drenched pieces that move and warm in equal measure.

Sample tune- Cimmerian Shade

-7-

I’ve just realised that most of my list this year contain heavy throwbacks to music from times gone by. I’m not sure if this is an indication of my advancing years or a reflection that, more than ever, young popsters are turning to the past for inspiration. This brings me to Dayglow, the alter-ego of 22 year old Texan, Sloane Struble. ‘Harmony House’, his second album, is anchored firmly in the smooth, keyboard laced pop of the 1980’s. He has created an incredibly upbeat record filled with catchy melodies, feel good grooves and Scandi-indie recalling production. A ray of sunshine in a bleak year.

Sample tune- Medicine

-8-

I’ve been following this slightly proposterous Anglo/American duo for some time, through ever ridiculous EP releases to this, their debut album. This band operate on a level of, what I hope is, self aware, tongue in cheek musical pomposity. The songs are an eclectic mix of classical allusions, chantable choruses, large beats and ear-worming melodies. The lyrics are humorously portentous; whether descibing a “Wise old elephant man wondering through the forest,” or asserting that, “My Queen, I would burn cities down in your name”, conjuring grand images which juxterpose entertainly with the somewhat poppy hooks. They sometimes have the flavour of a Norwegian Eurovision Song Contest entry, baffling but somewhat brilliant; a curate’s egg whisked into a perfect omlette. I only hope that they are in on the joke.

Sample tune- The Hits Keep Coming

-9-

Sometimes the heart wants what it wants. Such was the case when this Norwegian duo released their first album in twelve years. The low key, accoustic harmonising of Kings of Convenience soundtracked a very distinct period of my life; moving to London in my early-ish twenties, living with fellow creatives, my eyes open to the wonder of an unknown future. Their new album encapsulates the steady flow of time; the fresh cut timber of untapped potential aging into a worn, comfortable grain. Their music has always had a melancholy aspect and it is still fully present here, perhaps heightened by the slow creep of years. The lyrics have flowered into cautionary tales for a new generation of wide eyed hopefuls, exploring their own place in the adult world for the first time. Thankfully, the beauty of their melodies and compositions hasn’t aged, immediately transporting me back to my own salad days in North London, listening in quiet contemplation and imagining great days to come.

Sample tune- Rumours

-10-

My final pick is not one I would have predicted at the start of the year, my only previous knowledge of Lil Nas X having been the mildly irritating hip hop/country novelty song, ‘Old Town Road.’ However, his debut album MONTERO (no need to shout) is another matter entirely. Whilst it’s true that not every track on here clicks with me, on the whole it is a very impressive record. Lil Nas X is a gifted song writer, exposing great vulnerability and a finely tuned knack for catchy melodies. It should also be mentioned that his bravery in fully embracing his rare status as a fully out gay man in a traditionally homophobic genre is commendable. He is furthering the reach of hip hop and empowering young people in great need of representation. I should also point out that the sample tune for this album, “That’s What I Want” is a total pop banger, and would earn this album a place on my list even if half the other tracks sucked.

Sample tune- That’s What I Want

So there we have it folks, my list is done for another year. Feel free to forward it if you like. Or don’t, it’s up to you really. Do let me know if you agree with my picks or conversely, hate them; I would relish the human contact!

Until next year, farewell!

Paul’s Top Ten Albums of 2020

That’s right folks, it is once more time for the annual musical round up eagerly anticipated by few and hungrily consumed by several. Considering what a soiled adult nappy of a year we’ve all endured, 2020 was actually pretty decent for new music. As usual, the following records aren’t in any particular order and although musical taste is subjective this list should be considered absolute in terms of quality. I am right and what is more, you are wrong.

-1-

Ugly is Beautiful by Oliver Tree

Regardless of what you think of his music there is no denying Oliver Tree’s total commitment to the persona he’s been cultivating over social media prior to the release of his debut album. The character of Tree; a permanently furious, bowl cutted malcontent, bedecked in a lurid nineties ski jacket and extreme flared jeans, is a deliciously divisive construct and is as key to his success as the actual songs. The music itself is a brazen mashup of Blink 182 punk pop, Beastie Boys lite hip hop and whatever other influences he could scrape up from the turn of the century alternative scene. The melodies are catchy, the beats are phat and matched with the performance art of his character, the results are strangely addictive. Be sure to watch the videos!

Sample tune– Let me Down

-2-

Tunng Presents… Dead Club by Tunng

It should come as no surprise to those who know me well that a new Tunng album would appear on this list. Their cerebral, electronica infused folk has haunted my ‘best of’ lists for years now and it is my hope that if I continue to push them, more of my friends will actually give them a listen. This album grew from their recent podcast, Dead Club, in which they interviewed a series of academics, artists and philosophers; from Derren Brown to Alain De Botton, on everything surrounding death and then combined these themes into songs. Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Sounds a bit bleak, Paul”, and to an extent you’re right. I, personally, have a very real fear of death and have developed an air tight mental block when contemplating mortality which this album was successfully able to penetrate. Tunng’s gift with lilting musicality and introspective harmony dulls the sting of the subject material and manages to create several toe tapping tunes from the darkest of subjects. If it can convert a registered death sceptic such as myself, imagine what it will do for all you terminal rest-heads out there!  

Sample tune– Death is the New Sex

-3-

We Will Always Love You by The Avalanches

The Avalanches third album in twenty years is a real doozy. The previous two were meticulously crafted from thousands of individual samples which probably explains why they took so long to make. They approached ‘We Will Always Love You’ in a slightly different way, opting instead to call on a wealth of guest vocalists and musicians in order to record songs unbound to existing material. The results are quite possibly their best work yet; a disco tinged hiptronica opus which, although containing stand out tracks, is best enjoyed as a whole. The album is long, coming in at well over an hour, but in its playtime manages to blend moods and genres in a thoroughly satisfying musical journey.

Sample tune– Take Care in Your Dreaming

-4-

As Long as You Are by Future Islands

Fronted by one of the most dedicated and charismatic front men in the business, Samuel T Herring, Future Islands’ latest album is a return to form after their slightly lack lustre previous record. ‘As Long as You Are’ has a personal, bruised quality whilst still providing enough crackle voiced baritone electro rock to bop around to. There is a sadness to the subject matter of many songs which, juxtaposed with the driving basslines and squealing synths have me punching the air in damp cheeked solidarity. A quality album.

Sample tune– For Sure

-5-

Free Love by Sylvan Esso

A laid-back palate cleanser of an album; Sylvan Esso’s husband/wife team make lo fi, electronic jams, draped with beautifully lethargic Appalachian folk vocals. On this album they have removed some of the extravagances of their previous work, aiming for a more streamlined, pure listening experience. The result is a woozy delight; squelchy bass on its best behaviour, the beats; minimal & skittering and Amelia Meath’s vocals almost horizontal in terms of relaxed cool. ‘Free Love’ was the perfect album to be released two thirds through 2020, a chance to fill the lungs with fresh air and reset.

Sample tune– Rooftop Dancing

-6-

Volume One: Folk with Swing by Scratchy Beard

One out of the left field here, Scratchy Beard is a passion project from Spesh Maloney, a composer and sound artist best known for his work with the RSC and recently EastEnders. The title of the album really tells you all you need to know; Maloney has taken a series of old standards and new songs and injected them with a bubbling syringe of jazzy folk. The band work as a four-piece consisting of cello, guitar, clarinet and drums plus whatever additional instruments all of these irritatingly talented musicians can play. As a whole the album is a summery delight, packed with satisfying compositions and jaunty melodies but really comes into its own with a series of original tracks towards the end of the record in which Maloney’s song writing ability is really displayed. ‘We Lost Today’ is one of the best new songs I’ve heard this year.

Sample tune– We Lost Today

-7-

Song Machine, Season One: Strange Timez by Gorillaz

It’s been a funny ol’ year, eh readers? Whilst it has been a long-prophesied boom time for investors in hand sanitiser it has been a waking hell for the middle cushion of my sofa, which has been compressed at a never seen before rate by my ever-widening lockdown buttocks. As the months of isolation dragged on, my time was partially soundtracked by the episodic releases from Damon Albarn’s new project through his animated band, Gorillaz. The Pandemic shaped the way the music was made and released, with songs being written on the fly and guest artists offering their contributions from afar. Compiled into an album these individual tracks meld together with much greater coherence than could readily be expected into their best record since 2010’s Plastic Beach. Whilst not all of the considerable number of tunes could be considered classics, the majority hit lofty highs, spanning genres and firmly embedding themselves in one’s head. The laid-back drive & lush orchestration of Desole, the old school strut of PAC MAN, and the wistful euphoria of Aries deliver some of my favourite tracks of the year.

Sample track– Aries

-8-

Getting Into Knives by The Mountain Goats

It has been a while since a Mountain Goats album made my top ten list, unusual as John Darnielle’s output over the years has cemented his band as one of my all-time favourites. I felt that his last couple of records had lost some of the intricate storytelling and passionate bottled fury of their predecessors. Happily though, ‘Getting Into Knives’ is the best Mountain Goats record for five years. I would say it is slightly top loaded with the best songs generally being found in the first half but even the weaker tracks have more focus and direction than the past couple of albums. My personal favourite is ‘Picture of My Dress’ apparently inspired by a tweet from American Poet, Maggie Smith. It charts a recently divorced woman taking her old wedding dress on a road trip across the States; it conjures a fragile, lilting melancholy that evokes a bittersweet, autumnal calm. Lovely stuff.

Sample track– Picture of My Dress

-9-

TTRRUUCES by TTRRUUCES

And the award for most hipster band name of the year goes to… But wait… Wait! Don’t run just yet because this group’s debut album is one of the most varied and offbeat records in recent memory. TTRRUUCES gleefully skips between diverse genres and influences from White Album era Beatles to disco, from glam rock to Americana. With synths. Obviously with synths; just look at their name. The fact that the Anglo/French duo behind the album manage to do so without just creating an aural mess is remarkable in itself, that they succeed in crafting achingly catchy songs which flow together organically is astounding. TTRRUUCES is at heart a concept album, the musicians have described their wish to write a modern-day rock opera and whilst the narrative behind it is occasionally muddied, taken as just a collection of great songs this album really delivers.

Sample song– Sensations of Cool

-10-

Endless Dream by Peter, Bjorn and John

From the opening clattering drum fill of the first track this album from the Swedish trio Peter, Bjorn and John transported me back to my mid-twenties, herbily relaxing in an actor stuffed shared house in Tufnell Park. The rounded, chugging basslines, chilled breakbeats and distinctive Scandinavian harmonies evoke in me the warmth of responsibility free youth that came with discovering them fifteen years ago. I should state though, that there is more to ‘Endless Dream’ than giddy headed nostalgia. This is the first album from the group in years that manages to recapture the joy of song writing that was displayed in their earlier work. They have packed this album with catchy, summer filled pop songs that will sound as fresh to newbies as to decrepit old fans like me.

Sample tune– Simple Song of Sin

There we have it, folks. The need to list is assuaged for another year! Of course, I don’t claim to have listened to every fantastic album from the last twelve months; in fact, I’ve probably listened to fewer than usual. My standard habit for consuming music is through headphones whilst travelling around London for work or lesuire and for some reason, I seem to have been spending more time at home this year. Please feel free to point out any great records that I may have missed; I can’t guarantee I’ll actually listen to them but I will be sure to pretend that I have. So, until next year; PAUL OUT!!!

I give Paul’s Top Ten Albums of 2020 seven Pauls out of Critoph   

Alien: Covenant- Review

The weight of expectation can be a terrible thing; a pain I felt acutely when Ridley Scott released his long awaited prequel to ‘Alien’, ‘Prometheus’, five years ago. That film was intended to act as a prologue to Scott’s own genre shaping 1979 sci fi/ horror classic. Whilst some found it a competent exercise in world building, the disappointment that it inspired in me on a personal level was profound. Its characters were broad cut outs and behaved with frustrating lapses of logic, whilst its narrative failed to answer the mysteries promised by its extensive marketing campaign. We were left with a visually stunning shell of a film, failing to deliver on the quality of its premise. Which leads us to the latest movie in the Xenomorph saga, and one which actually dares to wear its heritage in its title, ‘Alien: Covenant’.

The narrative begins ten years after the events of ‘Prometheus’, in which sole survivor Elizabeth Shaw piloted an alien spaceship off into the void, along with the parts of a rogue android named David, in order to seek out the planet from which human life originated. ‘Alien: Covenant’ switches focus to another group of deep space travellers; the titular colonising vessel, crewed by a suitably varied bunch of galactic pioneers. After coming out of deep sleep in order to repair the aftermath of an accident, the crew detects a mysterious signal emanating from a previously undetected, liveable planet. Against the advice of second in command, Daniels (Katherine Waterston), the captain (Billy Crudup) decides to divert the Covenant in order to investigate.

Anyone familiar with the Alien franchise will immediately recognise this set up. It is a structure used successfully in the best films of the franchise and is a template perfectly suited to delivering unspeakable terror to its unsuspecting characters. The task presented to Scott and his screen writers with ‘Alien: Covenant’ is how to incorporate the extended lore from ‘Prometheus’ into this architecture without unbalancing the format; a task which is sadly beyond them. It pains me to admit but Ridley Scott and his team have delivered a truly underwhelming film. This is particularly upsetting because it actually starts out well; the early scenes of the movie retain the stark, unforgiving atmosphere of Scott’s original and although the technology on board is bafflingly more cutting edge than that in the chronologically advanced original, he is able to set up the story with simplicity and a singular direction. Things even improve when the crew arrive on the planet, with Scott effectively ramping up the tension and revealing his new monsters with well placed terror and visceral excitement. Indeed, the scenes leading up to the fresh beasts’ gory entrance are genuinely thrilling; a nerve shredding escalation of committed performances, grotesque sound design and razor sharp editing. It is here, unfortunately, that the film takes a metaphorical u turn which in a few short minutes sees it languishing upside down in an equally metaphorical ditch. It is difficult to explain exactly how the good work of the first 40 minutes is squandered without revealing substantial plot spoilers, suffice to say that Michael Fassbender’s returning character of the android David is key to its failure.

Ridley Scott must really like Michael Fassbender. And I mean REALLY like him. Not only does he reprise his role from ‘Prometheus’ but he also plays the resident android on the Covenant, Walter. To say that these characters hijack the narrative is somewhat of an understatement and to give Fassbender his due, both are played with precision and variety. The issue is that Ridley Scott mistakenly believes that the audience harbours a deep interest in David; a character whose illogical and villainous nature was established in the previous film. After the excitement of the initial creature encounter, Scott flips the focus, deadens the pace and spends over half an hour examining the over wrought, clumsily pretentious machinations of his favourite android. I initially saw ‘Alien Covenant’ at a midnight viewing on opening night and so had to watch it a second time to be sure that it wasn’t just my own tiredness that made these scenes quite so boring and I can confirm that this was not the case. Also contained in the latter half of the film is a scene of what seems like ten full minutes of pretentiously fruity Fassbender on Fassbender action which drew unintentional belly laughs from both audiences I was part of.

This is just the start of ‘Alien: Covenants’ problems. Along with the meandering change of pace, from the half way mark the characters also start behaving in increasingly illogical and idiotic ways; their trust in a clearly moustache twirling British android leads to several easily avoidable mishaps. Another problem is the expectation created by the marketing of the movie. Fans of the franchise lured to the film by its “Alien” title and xenomorph heavy trailers will be disappointed to learn that the titular beast only appears late in the run time in a payoff lacking some of the claustrophobic terror for which it is known. Couple this with inconsistent behaviour and gestation times and it feels like this movie should have more accurately been called ‘Prometheus 2’ instead.

So, who is to blame for the rapid downward spiral of ‘Alien: Covenant’? It is certainly not the actors. Katherine Waterston gives a strong female lead, both capable and vulnerable whilst Danny McBride proves a reliable foil in a rare non-comedic performance. Ridley Scott is an obvious target for the film’s woes, although he does still create some memorable images and orchestrates a handful of gripping sequences in the first half of the film. Ultimately, the xenomorph’s share of the blame has to fall at the feet of the script writers. They have delivered a platitudinous, exposition heavy script bent low under the weight of its own self importance. Scott has shown with ‘The Martian’ that he is still capable of directing taut, relevant sci fi; qualities distinctly lacking in this film.

I suspect that ‘Alien: Covenant’ will be a divisive film, the enjoyment gleaned from its dubious distractions relating directly to one’s appreciation of ‘Prometheus’. As a long term fan of the xenomorph and consistent, logical sci fi I am sad to report that I felt failed by the experience. It answers questions that were more effective as mysteries and even has the potential to lessen my enjoyment of the original film. It is time for Ridley Scott to wash his hands of the Alien franchise and pass it on to somebody with a more streamlined vision; that is the only way that this classic movie monster can gestate into something terrifying once more.

I give Alien: Covenant five Pauls out of Critoph

Lady Macbeth- Review

Other than a generally positive word of mouth, I knew little about William Oldroyd’s new film ‘Lady Macbeth’ before the screening. It is rare for me to find myself so blinkered from a critically lauded independent feature and so relished the opportunity to sample it unfettered from expectations. My first surprise was that it does not concern Shakespeare’s infamous anti-heroine but is instead based on the 1865 novella ‘Lady Macbeth of Mtsensk’ by Nicolai Lescov, cleverly transposed from the Russian wastes to the misty moors of North East England.

The narrative is set entirely in the house and surrounding countryside of a wealthy industrialist. The film opens with the enforced marriage of Katherine, a local girl, to the magnate’s middle aged son. It soon becomes clear that theirs will not be loving marriage, as her husband treats her with a mixture of simmering resentment and chilly disdain. When business takes both father and son away from the estate for a prolonged time, Katherine’s boredom spirals into darkness and lust as she begins an ill-considered affair with a stable hand. From a meek innocent, Katherine must steel herself in order to protect the life she desperately desires.

If this synopsis hints at romance then banish that thought from your head, for although ‘Lady Macbeth’ uses the theme of love as a catalyst for its story, the director has much darker themes to explore; jealousy, betrayal and rampant ambition. Oldroyd has crafted a film of icy detachment and singular purpose; Katherine’s desire to forge her own path in a world desperate to keep her bound. It is worth noting that ‘Lady Macbeth’ is a film almost entirely devoid of likeable characters. Katherine herself is the closest we get to relatable, her childlike frustration and boredom at her enforced domesticity doing well to win the audience’s sympathies early on but that empathy is sure to be tested by the end of the film. The men present are generally depicted as monsters. Be it the foam lipped rage of Christopher Fairbank as her father in law, to the narrow-eyed spite of Paul Hilton as her husband, the men of Victorian Northumberland are clearly not pillars of a progressive society. Even the object of Katherine’s desires, Cosmo Jarvis as Sebastian, is depicted as impulsive, sexually aggressive and feral. The world of Lady Macbeth is one of selfish drive and determination against the odds.

Technically, ‘Lady Macbeth’ is an exceptionally strong piece. Oldroyd sets up two distinct worlds for his characters to inhabit; the pristine, sterile elegance of the house’s interior and the vivid, swirling mist of the moors. He uses his camera like a canvas, composing exquisitely framed static shots. He often reuses the same camera positions at different points in the narrative, effectively highlighting the stifling stasis of life in the house. Ari Wegner’s cinematography is sublime, using natural light and ever changing weather conditions to inform the film’s aesthetic. There is an earthiness to the print; a tangible feel of rotting leaves and dank soil which informs the story well. Whatever the self-involved dramas of the people on the estate, the land will still be there, rain cloaked and eternal. The sound design is also superb. There is virtually no score, the action instead being pinpointed by the creak of floor boards and the swirling of the wind. This use of sound is expert in creating an atmosphere of guarded dread and chilly detachment.

All of the performances are strong in the film but special praise must surely go to Florence Pugh as Katherine. I wasn’t familiar with her work before ‘Lady Macbeth’ but I have no doubt I will be in the future. She turns in a performance of will and resolve, ensuring that no matter how extreme her actions grow, we never truly abandon her side.

However, the emerging darkness of its themes and the coldness of its characters ultimately prevent ‘Lady Macbeth’ from achieving true greatness. As events develop and Katherine begins to live up to the film’s title, I found myself strangely unmoved by the plight of certain characters. Such is the void of empathy for the inhabits of the house and grounds that I watched scenes unfold with interest but never passion. I have the feeling that ‘Lady Macbeth’ will be a divisive film. Some of the content is sure to shock some viewers and its impassive bitterness will turn away others. The autumnal chill of Oldroyd’s direction had anesthetised me to sympathy. This is not a bad thing in itself; indeed, by the climax of the film it could be argued that I was regarding the secondary characters with the same level scrutiny as Katherine, studying them as obstacles and prey. It is impressive feat of immersion for a film to rewire one’s brain in such a way and as such ‘Lady Macbeth’ is a piece I admire greatly, if falling short of winning my heart.

I give Lady Macbeth eight Pauls out of Critoph

Fifty Shades Darker – Review

I should perhaps confess at the start of this review that I did not walk into ‘Fifty Shades Darker’ expecting to be entertained. I generally attempt to leave any cinematic prejudice behind me as I enter a screening and view each film with a relatively objective head; sadly, this was impossible as I solemnly trudged in to watch the second part of E.L James’ bondage for beginners opus. The reason for my lack of critical neutrality on this occasion was the still reeking memory of part one, 2015’s ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’, a movie which holds the dubious accolade of receiving my lowest ever rating, a pitiful zero point five Pauls out of Critoph. This franchise opener was without a doubt the most tedious two hours I have ever spent in a cinema; an excruciatingly boring crawl through the unconvincing love lives of two self-absorbed personality voids. The acting was stiff (no innuendo intended), the script was laughably un-laughable and Sam Taylor Johnson’s direction was lifeless and static. How this sequel could be anything other than a painful case of history repeating was beyond me. It therefore surprises me to announce that I despised ‘Fifty Shades Darker’ to a much lesser degree than I’d been expecting to.

This is not to say that I wholeheartedly enjoyed the film. It still suffers from numerous flaws, which I shall explore in a moment but at least the franchise has progressed from multi-sensory poison to something approaching merely mediocre. The plot picks up an undisclosed time after the events of the first movie with our whip scar crossed lovers currently single. Anastasia has somehow acquired a dream job at a publishing house whilst Christian is still being a strange, stalky, serial killer in the making. After a truly surreal scene of “renegotiating the terms” of their relationship, the couple are happily reunited. And then the film continues for another hour and forty-five minutes.

This is the first of my grumbles about ‘Fifty Shades Darker’; not a lot happens. Or at least, not a lot happens which has a lasting effect on the characters or their overarching story. It is here that the movie’s origins in poorly written schlock fiction are evident. It is entirely possible to see exactly where the chapters of the book begin and end in this adaptation. It strikes me that E.L James is the kind of author who has been told that something dramatic should happen in every chapter; however, she is not talented enough to give these events any overriding impact on the narrative. This leaves the film peppered with unsubstantial vignettes of peril or intrigue that are forgotten by the characters within minutes of occurring. After the third or fourth of these events any sense of dramatic tension is forever lost, giving a third act helicopter based episode a farcical sense of parody. E.L James’ clumsy literary missteps do not end there. There are many ways to progress a story but amusingly ‘Fifty Shades Darker’ finds one that it likes and uses it repeatedly; namely Christian Grey looking intensely at Ana and saying “I need to show you something” before whisking her off to the next part of the plot. This device is used several times in the movie and could possibly be the corner stone of a ‘Fifty Shades Darker’ drinking game in the future. (Fifty Shandies Darker? I apologise.)

Looking back at my review of the first film I can’t help but think that I was a little bit harsh with my criticism of the two lead actors, Dakota Johnson in particular. Regarding her performance, I said, “Her Anastasia is an irritating, anti-feminist mouse; a brow beaten human sigh who deserves neither the audience’s interest nor pity.” I have updated this opinion. Whilst it is true that her character has the innate charm and lovability of a fart trapped in a packet of peanuts, it is not her fault. Johnson has an uphill swim against a deluge of dated gender bias and inconsistent, irrational character traits sent flowing from the pen of E.L. James. Considering the source material, she is to be commended for a thoroughly decent attempt to make Ana a believable character; her shrewish vulnerability goes some way to achieving a rounded persona. The same goes for Jamie Dornan as Christian, who is able to imbue an unsympathetic character with something approaching heart. The film is directed with workman like determination by James Foley. His box of visual tricks is a small one but he handles the lumpen pages of night soil masquerading as a script with efficiency if not flair.

I suppose one of the major things to consider when deciding if you should pay money to see ‘Fifty Shades Darker’ is what you are attempting to get out of the experience. Ultimately, it is an adaptation of a piece of erotic fiction which was treated by the majority of its readers as humorously disposable. If the film version can replicate that mild thrill for its fans then it must be doing something right and I can report that the sex scenes in the movie, of which there are many, contain a little more fire and spice than the cold porridge found in the original. True, Christian Grey is still the Master of Missionary and all the scenes fade out after roughly a minute of panting but my scholarly intuition tells me that there is enough sensuality on display to sate its desired audience.

‘Fifty Shades Darker’ is a bad film based on the writing of a terrible, terrible author but it is also an improvement. The first film was irredeemable; a soul draining test of boredom and stupidity and I had feared and read that this sequel was worse still. Thankfully this is not the case. From the pile of steaming dung that was the original, a partially digested seed has begun to germinate. It is still technically shit, but it holds the promise of better things. What is more, whether by virtue of cinematic Stockholm syndrome or by unexpected sweetness, the finale was just about able to soften my heart and almost make me warm to the paper-thin automatons on the screen; something I would not have predicted on entering. (Innuendo intended.)

I give Fifty Shades Darker four Pauls out of Critoph.

Assassin’s Creed – Review

It is a truth universally acknowledged that any movie based directly on a videogame will be a substandard mess. This perceived wisdom has been prevalent from the very first days of the genre, with bona fide stinkers like the Bob Hoskins starring Super Mario Bros and the live action Street Fighter movie forming cracked moulds from which videogame films haven’t been able to break. For a closet gamer like myself this is disheartening for I personally know the visceral, emotive journeys of which videogame narratives are capable. The medium in general is often dismissed by the majority of cultural commentators as juvenile or lowbrow and that is not really a fair indictment. Every medium is made up predominantly of the populist and mundane, videogames and cinema included, but we should focus on the highpoints; Casablanca over Carry On Columbus, Portal over Postal. It is a real shame then, that Hollywood continues to treat videogame properties as disposable revenue; a way to exploit the wallets of naïve nerds whilst spending as little as possible. The past year showed some promise; Duncan Jones’ big budget adaptation of the ludicrously popular Warcraft series was an earnest, if unexciting treatment and at least there was Assassin’s Creed to look forward to…

Ah yes, Assassin’s Creed; the long mooted ascendance of videogame movies into the halls of respectable cinema. This adaptation of the long running sci fi/ historical action series had some serious talent attached; Michael Fassbender seemed genuinely passionate about the project and had brought along his ‘Macbeth’ dream team in the form of director Justin Kurzel and co-star Marion Cotillard. It seemed that a videogame property might finally be getting the adaptation it deserved. Sadly, upon viewing the finished film, it looks like the genre might have finally run out of continues, for Assassin’s Creed is a lazily scripted, lacklustre smudge of a film.

For those of you not versed in the extensive lore of the Assassin’s Creed games the essential premise is as follows: Throughout mankind’s history a covert battle has been taking place between the Templars, who believe humanity can only continue through strict rule, and the Assassins, who think that greater freedom will benefit the species. They are both constantly searching for mysterious ancient artefacts which they think will unlock mankind’s full potential. In the present day, the Templars have created a machine called the Animus, which allows the ancestors of these past warriors to enter the genetic memories held in their DNA, and relive ancient experiences in order to discover the modern whereabouts of the ancient technology. The Templars kidnap present day Assassins in order to scan their ancestor’s memories. Simple. The film adaptation takes the decision to not use existing characters from the games but rather craft its own. This is perhaps wise, the central premise allows for constant expansion into different countries and time periods, so it is safer to try something new rather than risk treading on fans’ memories of the games. Another canny choice is picking the Spanish Inquisition as the backdrop to the film’s historical sections; a time rich in violence and atmosphere. That is sadly the last of the film’s good ideas.

I suppose I should initially focus on Assassin’s Creed’s good points. Fassbender is clinically incapable of giving a truly bad performance. His character here, modern day Assassin Callum Lynch, is an unlikeable, humourless blank slate and yet in Fassbender’s hands he is elevated to at least watchable. The Irishman’s charisma and talent is such that he is able to invest a paper-thin avatar with something approaching humanity. Marion Cotillard fares slightly less well, her conflicted Templar scientist being given nothing to do but constantly trust the wrong men. Jeremy Irons is also present, undertaking the role of Jeremy Irons with a performance of Jeremy Ironsish loucheness. Unfortunately, it seems that the casting director of Assassin’s Creed thought that these three actors would be enough to satisfy its audience, for barring Denis Ménochet as a surprisingly well rounded security guard, the rest of the players are universally weak. I can only imagine that they were given minimal direction on set for I’m struggling to recall another bunch of such listless, disinterested bores as this lot. Their combined lack of charisma creates a vacuum of talent which eclipses any threat the story has to offer.

This brings me onto one of Assassin’s Creed’s largest flaws; its rambling, fractured narrative. The videogame series realised long ago that the truly exciting element of the concept was embodying an ancient warrior in realistically envisaged historical settings. Over the space of several games the developers wisely scaled back the amount of present day sci-fi sections in order to give the people more of what they wanted. This lesson has been completely ignored by Kurzel and his clown’s car of writers leaving us with a film that spends two thirds of its time wallowing in gloomy interiors waiting for something to happen. This gives the three sections set in the Spanish Inquisition the rushed feeling of a videogame cut scene; appropriate maybe but I suspect unintentional. Another consequence of this uneven distribution is a complete lack of character development for any of those featured in medieval Spain. I couldn’t tell you anything about any of them apart from the fact that they’re good at climbing and enjoy a good run. I could perhaps forgive the film for this if these sequences succeeded in their remit of providing astounding visuals and thrilling action but alas, they fail in this too. Kurzel has taken the strange decision to smother every frame of Spanish footage in thick clouds of CG smoke; a baffling choice which often had me squinting at the screen in an effort to make out what was going on. The visual effects in general lack any kind of polish and too often rely on strange speeded up helicopter shots which seem to incessantly shout, “This is cool, right guys?” at the viewer with nervous excitement.

One of Assassin’s Creed’s thrilling action sequences.

I fear that if anyone is to blame for the mess that Assassin’s Creed has become it is Justin Kurzel as director. I did not see either of his previous films so I can’t say if this is just a misstep but he fails markedly with even the simplest elements of visual storytelling. He has no understanding of how to film action; his fights and chases have no sense of geography or escalation. Any nuance of exciting choreography is lost in a fitful splat of choppy editing, shaky cam and computer generated fog. As mentioned before, he allows the majority of his actors to turn in turgid, soul draining performances and perhaps his greatest error; he makes an adaptation of a thrilling action game no fun at all. The lack of humour in this film is quite staggering. It is a world inhabited by miserable, unsmiling people trapped in an unending competition to see who can pull the most serious face.

All in all, things are not looking good for the future of the videogame adaptation movie but then perhaps that is not such a bad thing. Videogames succeed in telling stories that maybe just aren’t possible to translate to celluloid. The finest of its medium tell tales which immerse and interact in ways that cinema can’t, often taking tens of hours to complete and giving the player ample time to fully invest in their characters. Perhaps it’s time to write off videogame adaptations as a failed experiment and devote resources to supporting fresh script ideas instead. The genre has failed to produce a single quality motion picture in twenty years and Assassin’s Creed has shown that even with a decent budget and talented leads, the understanding of the material just still isn’t there. It would perhaps be fitting if Assassin’s Creed’s final victim was its own genre.

I give Assassin’s Creed four Pauls out of Critoph.

Passengers- Review

As I exited my screening of Morten Tyldum’s new sci-fi movie ‘Passengers’, I pondered a pertinent question for 21^st century cinema goers; is it possible to separate a film from its marketing material? Specifically, in the case of Passengers, is it acceptable to feel critical of a piece of work if the final product is significantly different to that promised by pre-release trailers? The answer to this should of course be, no; a film should sink or float purely according to the thrills, or otherwise, contained within its 90 or so minutes. This has traditionally been the case although I would argue that the practices of modern Hollywood are testing this assertion with increasing regularity. The internet has permanently altered the way people get excited for new cinematic experiences. An entire symbiotic industry has sprouted up online over the last decade, dissecting and analysing every scrap of pre-release meat dropped from Hollywood’s table and the studios have raced to accommodate them. We now get teaser trailers up to a year before a film’s release, followed by three full length trailers, international trailers and behind the scenes mini docs, often resulting in film fatigue before the movie has even been released. Some studios get this process right; ‘The Force Awakens’ played its cards close to its chest and produced a pre-release campaign which gave a flavour of what to expect, with atmospheric glimpses of action successfully conveying the tone of the film without revealing too much of the story. The producers of ‘Passengers’ played a different game.

The film centres around the deep space journey of the colony ship Avalon, its passengers and crew frozen cryogenically until they reach their destination. Thirty years into its one hundred and twenty year voyage, two of its passengers are mistakenly roused from their slumber and find themselves isolated on an empty spaceship with no way to go back to sleep again. It seems that something is not quite right on the Avalon… An intriguing premise, I’m sure you’ll agree. Indeed, the film touted in the months and months of trailers promised to be a taut, action packed space thriller, seemingly built around a teasing twist. The final line of the trailer, and indeed the tag line of the movie on UK posters was “There’s a reason they woke up early”, a sentiment which had me furiously sticking my fingers in my ears and covering my eyes for fear of spoilers. My frustration stemmed from the fact that if a film alludes to the presence of a game changing plot twist, then it is very hard to actually be surprised when such a development occurs, not to mention the subconscious machinations of one’s brain trying to solve it in advance. It seemed that ‘Passengers’ had shot itself in the space-boot by revealing too much of its plot in the trailer, a cardinal sin for a film which apparently revolves around unexpected revelations. I needn’t have worried, for Tyldum ends up delivering a movie of disappointingly linear story-telling, totally devoid of anything to justify its own pre-release hype.

This is not to say that ‘Passengers’ is an entirely bad film; there are definitely successful elements at play. The art design and world building is elegant and smoothly impersonal, conveying a chilly functionality. The first third of the story is the strongest, with Chris Pratt’s character, Jim, waking first and having to cope with a year of isolation. It is in these opening scenes that ‘Passengers’ promises the most; the clinical bonhomie of the ship’s automated services scratching gradually at his psyche as his loneliness amplifies. These scenes bring to mind memories of earlier, better films such as Silent Running and Moon. After this come several shifts in tone which fare significantly less well. As Jennifer Lawrence’ character, Aurora joins Jim in unwanted consciousness the movie takes a sideways stumble into more romantic territory. This is not, however, the straightforward love story depicted in the trailer but something altogether more uncomfortable. Without going into details, the somewhat morally dubious nature of the couple’s relationship is acknowledged by the film although in a noticeably rushed way. It seems that Tyldum is keen to brush aside any narrative unease in favour of third act pyrotechnics.

The performances of Pratt and Lawrence in the main roles are adequate. I can imagine the delight of the producers when signing up the hottest stars of 2015 but sadly their independent charisma doesn’t translate into sizzling chemistry. To give them their due, much of this is due to the script. Lawerence’s character seems less of a rounded person and more of a catalyst for the plot and Pratt is bound by a character who walks the tight rope between pitiful and unsympathetic. Decent support is offered by Michael Sheen as a robotic barman, who serves as a sounding board for both of the leads. His understated simplicity of intent provides the film with its most relatable moments.

My main issues with the film are hard to pin down without diving headfirst into a sea of spoilers. Sadly, even that statement is perhaps giving the movie too much credit; it implies that there are hidden revelations in the narrative which must be kept secret and to tell the truth, there really aren’t. This brings me back to my initial question: is it possible to separate a film from its marketing material? In this case, it is not. There are many, simple ways in which Passengers could have been improved. A restructuring of early scenes could have provided the movie with the twist that its trailer promised. The implied possible malevolence of the ship’s AI could have come into play. A wasted second act cameo could have been used for more than exposition and video game standard plot progression. Ultimately, Passengers is not a terrible film. It offers a simple, bare bones sci fi story with zero ambiguity. This is also its failure, for what is sci fi without ambiguity? Decent science fiction leaves questions unanswered, provides scope for thought beyond the confines of the immediate story; Passengers achieves neither. I feel duped by the marketing of this film, which does the actual movie a disservice. I was promised beef wellington and received meatloaf. There is a time and a place for meatloaf but not when I had prepared my finest silver cutlery.

I give Passengers six Pauls out of Critoph.

I, Daniel Blake – Review

  ‘I, Daniel Blake’ recently arrived in British cinemas on a wave of overseas critical acclaim and festival success, being touted as director Ken Loach’s opus and winning Cannes prestigious Palme D’Or. That such a swell of praise should crash upon the rocks of certain homegrown journalists’ ire should come as no great surprise. Some critics have questioned the veracity of its tale of a carpenter trapped in an endless cycle of bureaucracy, and singled out Loach for exaggerating the negativities of Britain’s benefit system in an attempt to score political points. Whether this is the case or not, it should be noted that ‘I, Daniel Blake’ is not a documentary and as such should not be judged solely on its story’s echoing of the truth. If, as a work of fiction it is still a compelling and affecting tale then it should still deserve respect.

The story concerns the eponymous Daniel Blake, a widowed carpenter from Newcastle, recovering after a serious heart attack. His doctor informs him that he is not fit to work; a claim which is dismissed by the benefits system as he attempts to claim support, leaving him having to tackle the Sisyphean trial of signing on to Jobseekers Allowance in order to survive. This leaves Daniel in a paradoxical loop of being required to search for work he cannot possibly undertake. Along the way he befriends Katie, a young, displaced mother from London and her two children who are similarly trapped in a cycle of uncaring state bureaucracy.

 

Reading this synopsis it would be easy to think that ‘I, Daniel Blake’ is as great an ordeal to watch as any its title character suffers in the film. Happily though, this is not the case. Paul Laverty’s script ensures that although the themes and subject matter are sobering, their execution fizzes with Blitz spirit optimism and wry humour. Early sections of the film are played almost entirely for laughs. As Daniel, Dave Johns wears a near permanent expression of befuddled amusement as he deals with self-righteous DWP dictators and struggles to come to terms with modern technology. The early scenes displaying the impenetrable layers of Job Centre double speak stand as infuriating lessons in expertly handled gallows humour. Special credit should go to Steven Clegg and Sharon Percy who manage to portray the disinterested villainy of petty authority so believably as two particularly narrow minded employees.

 

Of course it is inevitable considering the subject matter that such initial levity cannot be maintained, and it is this shift into darker tones that makes ‘I, Daniel Blake’ such compelling viewing. As money runs out and desperation increases the immoveable stubbornness of the local authorities and their reluctance to grant Daniel an appeal date becomes ever more harrowing. The good nature of the title character is never in question, shown by his continual support of Katie’s young family, constantly giving even when he has nothing left to give. As Katie, Hayley Squires gives a controlled performance of restrained desperation, cracks of pain occasionally breaking through her hardened mask of making do.

Ken Loach handles the film with the steady hand of a quiet professional. He knows exactly what he is trying to achieve with the film and achieves it with restraint and economy. He shoots with a muted colour palette and frames his scenes with functional purpose. There is no soundtrack of which to speak and this stripped back dynamic serves to highlight the quietly devastating tragedy of his narrative. The entire film is anchored by Dave Johns’ immensely likeable portrayal. His rough charm and optimistic twinkle craft a character as tangibly believable as I can recall. Not all the performances are as well honed. The benefit of casting non actors in projects such as this is a perceived authenticity of purpose but it is also a risk. Some of the supporting cast look ill at ease in front of the camera, and deliver stilted, unnatural performances, which unfortunately serve to shatter the illusion of reality. Thankfully such moments are fleeting and are outweighed by the occasions when the casting process works.

 

It could be argued that ‘I, Daniel Blake’ is rather blunt in its storytelling. This may be the case. However, there are times when subject matter deserves to be handled in such a way. Regardless of whether this is a true story or not, it is certainly inspired by thousands of cases of state sponsored neglect and abandonment that are anything but fictional. Loach has installed in his film a belief in working class optimism and support that offers hope for our politically fractured Britain. The people of ‘I, Daniel Blake’ still retain the will to help others who are in need in the face of an uncaring government and a culture of mistrust. At the close of this film, the action just stops. Loach has told the story he intended and thrusts it back into the auditorium for us to deal with. I have rarely heard a busy cinema so quiet and so broken. Art has always held a mirror to society, to pick over the minutiae of films like ‘I, Daniel Blake’ is to miss the point. It gives voice to a muffled yell of desperation that fervently needs to be heard in today’s Britain.         

I give ‘I, Daniel Blake’ eight Pauls out of Critoph.